Happy Valentime's!

Nothing epitomizes Valentine's Day like Rachel Dratch's crazy Russian hooker from 30 Rock.

I've theoretically made my peace with Valentine's Day. I don't really pay much attention to the "romantic" aspects of the holiday, and instead consider it a day to sit around and do what makes me feel good. Today I woke up hungover, but spent the day sitting around knitting and watching TV comedies and reading Anna Karenina. I got Chinese take-out (rather than slipping an egg roll into my purse at an all-night buffet) and ate some of the chocolate my mom sent me. It was generally a very good day.

But there's still that nagging little doubt. Valentine's Day really is just a huge Hallmark holiday designed to make people buy a bunch of useless shit for their heteronormative S.O. to "prove" that they love them. And single people are supposed to feel bad about themselves. I object to almost everything the holiday stands for and try not to fall into the trap of self pity over my singleness. But, to be honest, I kind of do. I feel bad. Well, not bad exactly, but pensive. Sure, I've had a grand old time sitting around all day being lazy by myself, but what if I was dating someone? Would that make me happier? Isn't that what I'm supposed to want?

To be honest, I don't know. I'm quite happy with how life is going for me right now. I love my job, I love my apartment, I finally have a steady income. I don't have a ton of close friends in town but I'm certainly not lonely. I'm not dating anyone and I wouldn't mind having someone to hang out and cuddle with on a semi-regular basis, but I'm not depressed that I don't. I got annoyed when I went to Harris with a bunch of seniors and they were all intent on "hooking up." Am I weird that, in the way Dane Cook so eloquently put it, I just want to put my shoes and purse in a pile and dance?

So that's my oh-so-disjointed train of thought. As much as I desire to be the free-wheeling comfortable-on-her-own feminist, Valentine's Day will always bring up that secret desire for a Floyd to send me pink roses and buy me that second humidifier I've always wanted. Thank goodness it's officially over, and in the morning I can kill my annual day of self-doubt with cheap candy. :)